Favorites of 2014.

Well I certainly can't call anything the best of 2014 because I didn't really dive into all the media 2014 had to offer but here are my favorite song, movie, album, tv show and game of 2014.  Here we go.

SONG OF THE YEAR 2014:  Untitled by Kendrick Lamar



Kendrick Lamar is probably one of my favorite artist in recent memory.  His untitled entry he performed live on the Colbert Report ended up being my favorite song of 2014.  The smooth beat, his powerful lyrics and the almost beat poetry atmosphere put this song to top of 2014.  Can't wait for his new album in 2015.

MOVIE OF THE YEAR 2014:  Let's Be Cops


Now I know what you're thinking... Whaat? Yes, my favorite movie of 2014 was a movie few probably saw but  Let's Be Cops was a dream come true for me.  Two of my favorite actors from one of my favorite shows, New Girl joined forces in an R-rated buddy "not" cops flick which delivered high laughs among solid action.  A surprising performance by Rob Riggle as well in one of his more serious roles to date.  Let's Be Cops was an R-rated hour and a half episode of New Girl where Nick and Coach screwed around pretending to be cops.  Sure. they weren't Nick and Coach but that's all I could see.  All in all, Let's Be Cops was my favorite movie of 2014.

ALBUM OF THE YEAR 2014:  Everything Will Be Alright In The End by Weezer


Weezer redeemed past failures in 2014 with their best album since Pinkerton in EWBAITE.  Weezer brought back the classic Weezer sound with a bunch of hits in songs Ain't Got Nobody, Back to the Shack,  Lonely Girl,  Da Vinci among others.  This album was my absolute favorite of 2014 because of all the good feels it brought to me and brought me back to the classic days of Weezer before all the experimenting..and unnecessary Rivers Cuomo mustaches.

TV SHOW OF THE YEAR 2014:  Review


I've always liked Andy Daly,  sure he got started on Mad TV but I know him best from the short lived Comedy Central political/social commentary show Lewis Black's Root of All Evil.  He then went on to get a starring role in HBOs Eastbound and Down and he's been firing on all cylinders ever since.  Review starred Daly as Forrest MacNeil, a mild mannered man who hosts a review show where he reviews life's greatest questions from Stealing to Racism to Divorce to being Irish, Forrest conquered it all without fear or regret.  He lived vicariously through his viewers. Daly's performance as MacNeil is a sight to behold and is why Review gets top billing as my favorite show of 2014.

GAME OF THE YEAR 2014:  FAR CRY 4


It was a race all year long going from inFamous: Second Son to Wolfenstein: The New Order, a small pit stop with Middle Earth: Shadow of Mordor but in the end, when it was all said and done, Far Cry 4 was my most enjoyable gaming experience of 2014.  From it's voice acting from the superb Troy Baker, to the storyline which had lots of betrayal and intrigue to the zany characters that inhibited the country of Kyrat to Kyrat itself.  Far Cry 4 was my favorite game of 2014.

So that wraps up 2014,  onward to 2015 and whatever gems await us then.

When Sadness Becomes Anger.

Well...

I'm about fed up.

I just don't get it.

I just don't get it.

Why do I have to deal with being treated like this?

The one person I've tried to gain respect from despite how I feel about them and yet they treat me like a child.  A freaking child.  It's never her fault,  no it's always my fault.   I'm sick of dealing with this woman on a day to day basis.  I've had to deal with some crappy things in past employments but this takes the damn cake.

I'm not sad or upset anymore,  I don't have emotional outburst.  I have fits of uncontrollable rage/anger where I'm just pissed off with how I'm being treated.  Today was a bad day,  another shouting match between me and her telling me she doesn't like my mouth when I'm just trying to stand up for myself.  Well I don't like your management style.  I don't like being treated like a child.  I'm a grown man.  I'm going to be 24 years old in January.  Show me some damn respect instead of blaming me for all of our shortcomings and constantly having such an unpleasant attitude/tone with everything that happens.

I'm angry at myself.   I am not where I want to be right now in life.  I'm doing a job that just pisses me off and leaves me emotionally drained nightly because my superior won't respect/doesn't respect and  has the most frustration personality I've ever dealt with in my years of employment.   I wish I had done better in school,  I wish I had gone to college, I wish I was a writer.   I wish I was doing a job I loved but I don't know if I'll ever find a job I truly love.  I basically trudge along with this job.

Truth be told,  the people I work for are great EXCEPT FOR HER.  Everything is great...EXCEPT FOR HER.  She makes work so much more hurtful and emotional.  She's emotionally draining, she doesn't care about your problems and she constantly does this routine where if you question something she says she'll say "EXCUSE ME?" in such a rude tone.  She just pisses me off now, but everyone has a frustrating boss.  Or maybe you and your boss are best friends and hey, good for you if that's the case.

And I know some of you (if you're reading this) will probably tell me "well get a new job or get two new jobs".  I can't.  This is my job.  This is the job I'm sticking with till I get my writing career going or something comes along.  (plus I'm paying off my new car and money will be tight)  Like I said,  everything here is fine but her.  She is the thorn in my side.  "Well how about you report her, Eric?"  I have no case.  She's in charge of the department,  we're her minions.  We do what she says, we get the job done, and we get scolded when we screw up.  So much fun that's she's a former Navy drill sergeant too.  WHAT A GREAT HIRE.

Anyways friends,  I just needed to vent.  I'm going through a rough patch.  The holidays always hit me hard.  My life would be so much better if I didn't have to deal with her but I'm just gonna keep going with the robot routine but it hit a snag today,  I was sick of being treated this way and snapped. I demand respect but I have yet to receive any from this manager. If I do get fired, it was probably for the greater good.

In closing,  I think it's time to admit that maybe my mental health is now in question and I think I'm going to schedule an appointment to be checked for bipolar disorder and or depression.  Better to know now than just soak in misery.

I'm A Robot.

Today, I started a new thing.

It's called Turning off the switch.

Basically from this day forward, from 8 AM till 6 PM,  I am a lifeless soulless robot for the working world.  I do what I'm told,  I don't fight,  I don't argue,  I don't get upset or hurt.  I just do what I'm told.  Like a drone, you can no longer hurt me.  You say something to me,  sure I'll do it.   You tell me to step it up, sure I'll kick it up another gear.  You insult me,  That's your opinion,  I disagree but I'm not going to fight you on it anymore.

I'm a robot, my friends.

Until I get home around 6 PM,  then the switch goes back and I'm back to being Eric Walsh aka Walsh that you all know and love.  The guy who finds wonder and amusement and actually is happy and has a passion for things.  But from 8 AM to 6 PM,  I'm all like beep boop beep bop boop beep.

It's not the most conventional way to deal with stress/anxiety and or emotional breakdowns but it's the best idea I got.  After a one day trial, I'm satisfied with my results so I'm going to keep it going.
If this actually works out, then hot damn,  maybe I'm smarter than I look.

Let's just get to Thanksgiving.

Best Holiday Ever.



I'm a robot
I'm a robot
I don't have any feeling in my heart
I'm a robot
I'm a robot
I don't have any feeling in my heart

Anxiety II: Winter Blues.

Hey it's been awhile since I wrote an update so I guess I'm going to vent again.  I haven't let this out in the public outside of my family but a few weeks ago,  I suffered what I would probably call my first ever emotional breakdown.  I didn't cry but I was close to crying,  this was the result of a very stressful situation at work being made worse by my superior's snark towards the situation.

I tried to open up with her and told her that I was suffering from anxiety but she said "I don't care, it's just another excuse".   Now maybe I'm in the wrong here but Anxiety is not an excuse...it's a medical condition and I'm still pissed she felt that my anxiety was an excuse for my actions that morning. Sure, I was being a little mouthy but she kept doubting me and my coworker and I was sick of her not believing in us.  Every little comment she made irks me and just makes me more anxiety ridden but there's nothing I can do about it,  she's in charge,  I'm the worker, that's how the corporate world works.  Anyways that was weeks ago,  I'm better now.  Tried to get back on anti anxiety medication but they need to reevaluate me and I just don't have time to go to the doctor's (or will get excused to go) and get rechecked just so I can get some happy pills.  I need to learn to deal with my anxiety head on anyways.

The only frustrations I have right now is my excessive hours are cutting into my family time,  I'm getting home way later than I used to and I'm missing family dinner.  I miss having dinner with my family,  I miss the stories and jokes we shared.  Now I come home, sit at the table alone and eat my dinner by myself.  It's kinda sad but I'm used to it for the time being.  At least my Mom's cooking is as good as always.

Let's move on to my next topic...

Winter.

Winter sucks,  Michigan Winters are worse.  It also pairs into my anxiety because it's really bad right now.  Now I hate winter driving as much as the next guy or gal but damn, I have not been in the best of spirits recently.  The roads are terrible,  my visibility is poor at times and I'm fearing for my life.  I got rear ended today, luckily they only scratched the bumper but yeah, Winter brings out the worst in me.  I'm angry,  I'm lonely, and I'm stressed out.  Friends, if I lash out at you within the next month or so I apologize,  I'm just dealing with a lot of "stuff" right now.

Right now,  my main focus is working my tail off and just looking forward to Thanksgiving, my favorite holiday.  You got family, football, and a great meal.  What more could you ask for in life?

Well that's all I wanted to say right now.  Hope you're all feeling wonderful and making the best of these final months of 2014.  Personally I'm ready for this year to be over but it's not like 2015 will be any different.

Let's make the best of the end.

That's all I can do.

Expectations/Reality

Sometimes you have higher expectations for yourself, events, friends, potential love interests, and other events but in the end, the reality rears it's ugly head when things start to finally clear up.

Expectations vs Reality has led me to be disappointed in things over the years.  But the biggest one is "Where you are in life right now".  Your expectations of yourself vs the reality of where you are right now in life.  And sure,  I'm young but I feel old and it's stupid to feel old at 23 (heading towards 24) but I expected better from myself at this point in my life and I'm just not cutting it even for my own personal standards of myself.

Dealing with Anxiety isn't helping me much either but I'm trying and I guess that's the best thing I can say about myself right now.  The expectations of social events is also frustrating, having a friend make you have high expectations of a party or weekend to only be disappointed by them.  It's a damn shame.  But sooner or later,  I'm going to realize that partying, heavy drinking, and social stupidity is getting old.

I don't know if Anxiety is a form of depression (is it? I'm not sure sometimes) but this is what I'm dealing with right now.  I hate being let down,  I hate letting myself down even more but expectations vs reality is a part of life.   I keep telling myself  "I'll turn things around" but I think I'm just lying to myself to try to keep my body at ease.

I don't even know what to do regarding this weekend,  It's Halloween out of nowhere and I don't even know if I'll be in festive spirits.  Maybe it's the drinking,  maybe it's the letdowns, maybe it's my tough expectations of myself but I'm feeling a little lost in life right now and I'd like to escape these feelings but I'm not going to.

All I can do is keep my head held high, keep in touch with my friends and be glad that they care about me and just make best of everything going around me.  I'm going to see if I can get my anxiety prescription back.  I'm not the biggest believer in drugs helping people but I'm willing to go back and see if things change again.  Maybe I should have never stopped in the first place.

I will say though,  thank God for Football and music.  I'd be a zombie of society without them.

I like this blog because it lets me open up to my facebook friends about my life.  I know a lot of you love me for who I am but I do have some personal demons, this is my personal form of creative expression.

That's all I have right now,  I'm sure I'll have another update soon.

Everyone have a safe and great Halloween week and weekend.

Anxiety.

I haven't made a post in awhile so I guess I'm going to finally open up to my readers/friends.  This post might be relatable to some of you but to others please just try to understand where I'm coming from.

I'm suffering from Anxiety.

I'm stressed right now.  A lot is going on in my mind.  There is an impending move at Alliance Beverage to a new warehouse and I'm freaking out about it.  I'm moving to a new warehouse with a whole new system with how to do day to day operations, new technology, and it's farther away and I'm going to have to get up earlier and it's just a lot to take in all at once.

Anxiety.

I'm now the transportation for a group of friends to head up to East Lansing for this weekends festivities and now everything is on me to get us there and I'm panicking because I've never drove to East Lansing before.  I was more at ease when I was a passenger instead the transportation unit.  I want to have fun this weekend but I feel like work is going to kill my momentum with how stressed I currently am with everything go on around me.

Anxiety.

I haven't worked out in awhile because of minor ailments to my body and or getting out too late from work and not having the motivation to work out.  I felt invigorated when I first starting working out but now I feel nonchalant about the whole process.  It really sucks I've changed to this stance.

Anxiety.

I feel like I need to get my new glasses adjusted but I keep getting out too late to make it to the optometrist in time.  This is a minimal complaint but I don't want them to slide off my face and get scratched while I'm working.  I like my new glasses but I'm constantly adjusting them because I'm afraid I'm going to break them.

Anxiety.

You see friends, even the smallest things in the world can seem like giant obstacles to those suffering with constant anxiety. These little things right now may seem like small issues to most of you but for me right now, they're consuming my brain.  I hate my anxiety and I wish I could defeat but there is no end in sight right now.  I'm just going to have to deal with it.

And I know some of you will tell me I'm overthinking this.  I know a few in particular who will tell me this but trust me...this is a bigger issue for Walsh than you think.



Faster...
I dream in speeds of ashes
My heart it beats and crashes
I'm running from the truth
'Cause it fucks with my mind

Waiting...
We're silly, we're so reckless
The city it's so heartless
A bottle full of crude
That washed up in the tide

Don't pressure us, anxiety
I'm a passenger
So serious, anxiety
Just a passenger

Lack of Updates.

I apologize for the lack of updates to the blog last weekend friends.  I was a little under the weather and didn't really have anything worthwhile on my mind.  I'm also a little ashamed of myself because I didn't work out for four straight days last week because I hurt my foot at work on Friday and it made it harder to run on the treadmill.  I've healed since and resumed my workout regimen this evening and had a great workout.

My main focus right now for the remainder of the year is personal happiness and finding my strengths in life.  Positive thinking can take you very far and you can achieve anything if you truly believe in yourself.  I hope all of you (who read this blog) are thinking positive and feeling wonderful about life.  Let's make the best of these final three months and improve ourselves each and every day this week.

That's all for now.

Stay Positive everyone.

Walsh Reviews.

Here are my thoughts on some media currently out in stores now.  Today's reviews include the movie Are You Here by director Matt Weiner (of Mad Men fame),  the new tv show Mulaney from comedian John Mulaney, and album from Yellowcard and Weezer.


Are You Here Review

Are You Here is an odd tale of loss, love, and mental psyche.  Starring Owen Wilson, Zach Galifianakis, and Amy Poehler,  I expected better from director Matt Weiner.  The movie does not know what exactly it wants to be, it's torn between comedy and drama and never finds the perfect balance. The roles for the main leads are forgettable especially Owen Wilson as womanizing weatherman Steve Dallas.  Galifianakis plays his best friend Ben Baker who loses his father and inherits a fortune but due to his mental state begins to question everything happening around him.  Poehler is along for the ride as Galifianakis' sister Terri who believed she should have inherited the fortune all along.  The second half of this movie completely destroys everything that was built up in the first hour of the movie and also has some absurd plot decisions which actually made me question Matt Weiner for once in my life.

I do not recommend this movie.



Mulaney "Pilot" Review.

I've heard of John Mulaney, never watched his stand up specials on Netflix but plan to later this week. Anyways Mulaney to me based on commercials looked like a new generation version of the classic comedy Seinfeld.  Comedian?  Check.  Roommates/Friends with quirks?  Check.  Crazy Neighbor?  Check.  Mulaney could very well be on it's way to be the new Seinfeld but it has a long way to go.  The Pilot gave me minor laughs but I think there is a lot of potential to improve on.  I like the cast.  I love me some Nasim Pedrad but she was a little on the crazy scale in this one.  And I for one, always enjoy Martin Short, so having him back on TV is great.  Mulaney is a weekly watch for me.

I recommend this show.


Yellowcard- Lift A Sail Review.

Yellowcard return with their latest album since Southern Air with an airy, calm, ride that is Lift A Sail.  Now fair warning,  THIS IS NOT A HEAVY YELLOWCARD ALBUM.  This is a mellow, stripped down, peaceful Yellowcard album.  Ryan Key's lyrics are wonderful as ever and the sound of Yellowcard has changed with the departure of former drummer Longineu Parsons.  However with songs like Crash The Gates, One Bedroom, and Make Me So, this is still a Yellowcard album worth owning.

I recommend this album.


Weezer- Everything Will Be Alright In The End Review.

Weezer is back ladies and gentleman.  What a wonderful record this is.  Rivers Cuomo and Co.  brought back the classic Weezer sound and album with their best effort since Pinkerton.  There are so many good songs on this album.  From the starting track "Ain't Got Nobody" to the woe is me "Go Away"  Weezer knock it out of the park with this album with a classic Weezer groove and brilliant lyrics from frontman Rivers Cuomo.  If you love Weezer, you need this album.

I recommend this album.

After One Week.

After one week of my new lifestyle changes,  I feel like a completely different person.  I feel more active, more positive, and more confident in myself.  Working out really is great for the body and mind and helps you feel invigorated upon completion of your workout.  I'm sticking with these changes and think going forward,  I'll be better than I've ever been.

Random Thoughts 10/2/14

• I enjoy Craig Ferguson's new game show Celebrity Name Game.  It's so simplistic and yet it's so amusing to watch people fail at naming celebrities and giving some really terrible clues. And I mean these clues are AWFUL.
• I also enjoy the game show Idiotest on GSN.  It's visual and word brain teasers and it's fun to watch because I'm pretty good at it but once in awhile, I trip up on the correct answer and I'm like "well played Idiotest".  I should probably mention the host, Ben Gleib is a great game show host and he responded to me on Twitter.  It was pretty cool.
• I hate my medical paranoia,  if something is wrong with me.  It's the end of the world.  I have to get it checked out immediately or I start to lose sanity.  Like I've said before  Web MD exists to cause hysteria in people who overreact.
• I hate how much I love fantasy football.
• I'm not feeling too confident in my Super Bowl prediction of Patriots vs 49ers after how they've started this season but it's how you finish, not how you start.
• I'm confident in Notre Dame to defeat Stanford this week but it's our first real test.  Golson needs to limit his turnovers if he's going to win.
• New Girl continues to be one of the best comedies on television.
• I felt invigorated after my first work out yesterday,  it felt really good.
• That's all I got for now but feel free to follow me on Twitter @walshurmouthout.  You can see my @midnight hashtag war submissions which are "so hilarious".

When In Doubt, Walsh It Out.

Hello Friends.

Welcome back to the wonderful world of Walsh.  Now you might have remembered my old blog What A Fool Believes: the ramblings of Eric Walsh but I felt like this is way more my style.  Now some of you will get a hearty chuckle out of this blog title among other things and some will scratch your head but the fact of the matter is that I need to write more if I'm ever going to become something more than what I already am.

#Walshurmouthout is my persona basically.  It's a term I've endeared because it's from my friends and it's out of love.  It's an inside joke, sure it's just a play on words and yes, I know Walsh and Wash are very similar words.  Sometimes I wonder how many people scratch their heads when my friends introduce me as "Walsh" at parties.  They're like "Walsh?".  But soon enough, they'll know Walsh. Oh they'll know.

It's October 1st.  Well it will be after I awake from my slumber tonight and I'm making some lifestyle changes.  Now before you panic and think I'm moving to some foreign country or becoming vegan.  I am merely just making some personality and wellness changes for the betterment of my mental and physical health.  I know some of you love me for who I am but there are times where I don't like who I am or who I've become and it was the harsh reality that I needed to change that will propel and motivate me through these final three months and into 2015 beyond.

One of these lifestyle changes will be this blog.  I plan to write a blog entry on whatever I feel fit or just type what moves across the keyboard from here on out.  It won't be daily but it will for the most part be weekly.  Writing has always been my passion,  I think I have a knack for it and what better way to express myself through words.

So here we go family and friends,  here we go once more.  Welcome to October,  where postseason Baseball is on and Football (pro or college) is king in my household.  Welcome to the wonderful world of Walsh.

If I had a chance for another try,
I wouldn't change a thing
It's made me all of who I am inside
And if I could thank god
That I am here, and that I am alive
And everyday I wake
I tell myself a little harmless lie
The whole wide world is mine