Hey it's been awhile since I wrote an update so I guess I'm going to vent again. I haven't let this out in the public outside of my family but a few weeks ago, I suffered what I would probably call my first ever emotional breakdown. I didn't cry but I was close to crying, this was the result of a very stressful situation at work being made worse by my superior's snark towards the situation.
I tried to open up with her and told her that I was suffering from anxiety but she said "I don't care, it's just another excuse". Now maybe I'm in the wrong here but Anxiety is not an excuse...it's a medical condition and I'm still pissed she felt that my anxiety was an excuse for my actions that morning. Sure, I was being a little mouthy but she kept doubting me and my coworker and I was sick of her not believing in us. Every little comment she made irks me and just makes me more anxiety ridden but there's nothing I can do about it, she's in charge, I'm the worker, that's how the corporate world works. Anyways that was weeks ago, I'm better now. Tried to get back on anti anxiety medication but they need to reevaluate me and I just don't have time to go to the doctor's (or will get excused to go) and get rechecked just so I can get some happy pills. I need to learn to deal with my anxiety head on anyways.
The only frustrations I have right now is my excessive hours are cutting into my family time, I'm getting home way later than I used to and I'm missing family dinner. I miss having dinner with my family, I miss the stories and jokes we shared. Now I come home, sit at the table alone and eat my dinner by myself. It's kinda sad but I'm used to it for the time being. At least my Mom's cooking is as good as always.
Let's move on to my next topic...
Winter.
Winter sucks, Michigan Winters are worse. It also pairs into my anxiety because it's really bad right now. Now I hate winter driving as much as the next guy or gal but damn, I have not been in the best of spirits recently. The roads are terrible, my visibility is poor at times and I'm fearing for my life. I got rear ended today, luckily they only scratched the bumper but yeah, Winter brings out the worst in me. I'm angry, I'm lonely, and I'm stressed out. Friends, if I lash out at you within the next month or so I apologize, I'm just dealing with a lot of "stuff" right now.
Right now, my main focus is working my tail off and just looking forward to Thanksgiving, my favorite holiday. You got family, football, and a great meal. What more could you ask for in life?
Well that's all I wanted to say right now. Hope you're all feeling wonderful and making the best of these final months of 2014. Personally I'm ready for this year to be over but it's not like 2015 will be any different.
Let's make the best of the end.
That's all I can do.
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