Expectations/Reality

Sometimes you have higher expectations for yourself, events, friends, potential love interests, and other events but in the end, the reality rears it's ugly head when things start to finally clear up.

Expectations vs Reality has led me to be disappointed in things over the years.  But the biggest one is "Where you are in life right now".  Your expectations of yourself vs the reality of where you are right now in life.  And sure,  I'm young but I feel old and it's stupid to feel old at 23 (heading towards 24) but I expected better from myself at this point in my life and I'm just not cutting it even for my own personal standards of myself.

Dealing with Anxiety isn't helping me much either but I'm trying and I guess that's the best thing I can say about myself right now.  The expectations of social events is also frustrating, having a friend make you have high expectations of a party or weekend to only be disappointed by them.  It's a damn shame.  But sooner or later,  I'm going to realize that partying, heavy drinking, and social stupidity is getting old.

I don't know if Anxiety is a form of depression (is it? I'm not sure sometimes) but this is what I'm dealing with right now.  I hate being let down,  I hate letting myself down even more but expectations vs reality is a part of life.   I keep telling myself  "I'll turn things around" but I think I'm just lying to myself to try to keep my body at ease.

I don't even know what to do regarding this weekend,  It's Halloween out of nowhere and I don't even know if I'll be in festive spirits.  Maybe it's the drinking,  maybe it's the letdowns, maybe it's my tough expectations of myself but I'm feeling a little lost in life right now and I'd like to escape these feelings but I'm not going to.

All I can do is keep my head held high, keep in touch with my friends and be glad that they care about me and just make best of everything going around me.  I'm going to see if I can get my anxiety prescription back.  I'm not the biggest believer in drugs helping people but I'm willing to go back and see if things change again.  Maybe I should have never stopped in the first place.

I will say though,  thank God for Football and music.  I'd be a zombie of society without them.

I like this blog because it lets me open up to my facebook friends about my life.  I know a lot of you love me for who I am but I do have some personal demons, this is my personal form of creative expression.

That's all I have right now,  I'm sure I'll have another update soon.

Everyone have a safe and great Halloween week and weekend.

Anxiety.

I haven't made a post in awhile so I guess I'm going to finally open up to my readers/friends.  This post might be relatable to some of you but to others please just try to understand where I'm coming from.

I'm suffering from Anxiety.

I'm stressed right now.  A lot is going on in my mind.  There is an impending move at Alliance Beverage to a new warehouse and I'm freaking out about it.  I'm moving to a new warehouse with a whole new system with how to do day to day operations, new technology, and it's farther away and I'm going to have to get up earlier and it's just a lot to take in all at once.

Anxiety.

I'm now the transportation for a group of friends to head up to East Lansing for this weekends festivities and now everything is on me to get us there and I'm panicking because I've never drove to East Lansing before.  I was more at ease when I was a passenger instead the transportation unit.  I want to have fun this weekend but I feel like work is going to kill my momentum with how stressed I currently am with everything go on around me.

Anxiety.

I haven't worked out in awhile because of minor ailments to my body and or getting out too late from work and not having the motivation to work out.  I felt invigorated when I first starting working out but now I feel nonchalant about the whole process.  It really sucks I've changed to this stance.

Anxiety.

I feel like I need to get my new glasses adjusted but I keep getting out too late to make it to the optometrist in time.  This is a minimal complaint but I don't want them to slide off my face and get scratched while I'm working.  I like my new glasses but I'm constantly adjusting them because I'm afraid I'm going to break them.

Anxiety.

You see friends, even the smallest things in the world can seem like giant obstacles to those suffering with constant anxiety. These little things right now may seem like small issues to most of you but for me right now, they're consuming my brain.  I hate my anxiety and I wish I could defeat but there is no end in sight right now.  I'm just going to have to deal with it.

And I know some of you will tell me I'm overthinking this.  I know a few in particular who will tell me this but trust me...this is a bigger issue for Walsh than you think.



Faster...
I dream in speeds of ashes
My heart it beats and crashes
I'm running from the truth
'Cause it fucks with my mind

Waiting...
We're silly, we're so reckless
The city it's so heartless
A bottle full of crude
That washed up in the tide

Don't pressure us, anxiety
I'm a passenger
So serious, anxiety
Just a passenger

Lack of Updates.

I apologize for the lack of updates to the blog last weekend friends.  I was a little under the weather and didn't really have anything worthwhile on my mind.  I'm also a little ashamed of myself because I didn't work out for four straight days last week because I hurt my foot at work on Friday and it made it harder to run on the treadmill.  I've healed since and resumed my workout regimen this evening and had a great workout.

My main focus right now for the remainder of the year is personal happiness and finding my strengths in life.  Positive thinking can take you very far and you can achieve anything if you truly believe in yourself.  I hope all of you (who read this blog) are thinking positive and feeling wonderful about life.  Let's make the best of these final three months and improve ourselves each and every day this week.

That's all for now.

Stay Positive everyone.

Walsh Reviews.

Here are my thoughts on some media currently out in stores now.  Today's reviews include the movie Are You Here by director Matt Weiner (of Mad Men fame),  the new tv show Mulaney from comedian John Mulaney, and album from Yellowcard and Weezer.


Are You Here Review

Are You Here is an odd tale of loss, love, and mental psyche.  Starring Owen Wilson, Zach Galifianakis, and Amy Poehler,  I expected better from director Matt Weiner.  The movie does not know what exactly it wants to be, it's torn between comedy and drama and never finds the perfect balance. The roles for the main leads are forgettable especially Owen Wilson as womanizing weatherman Steve Dallas.  Galifianakis plays his best friend Ben Baker who loses his father and inherits a fortune but due to his mental state begins to question everything happening around him.  Poehler is along for the ride as Galifianakis' sister Terri who believed she should have inherited the fortune all along.  The second half of this movie completely destroys everything that was built up in the first hour of the movie and also has some absurd plot decisions which actually made me question Matt Weiner for once in my life.

I do not recommend this movie.



Mulaney "Pilot" Review.

I've heard of John Mulaney, never watched his stand up specials on Netflix but plan to later this week. Anyways Mulaney to me based on commercials looked like a new generation version of the classic comedy Seinfeld.  Comedian?  Check.  Roommates/Friends with quirks?  Check.  Crazy Neighbor?  Check.  Mulaney could very well be on it's way to be the new Seinfeld but it has a long way to go.  The Pilot gave me minor laughs but I think there is a lot of potential to improve on.  I like the cast.  I love me some Nasim Pedrad but she was a little on the crazy scale in this one.  And I for one, always enjoy Martin Short, so having him back on TV is great.  Mulaney is a weekly watch for me.

I recommend this show.


Yellowcard- Lift A Sail Review.

Yellowcard return with their latest album since Southern Air with an airy, calm, ride that is Lift A Sail.  Now fair warning,  THIS IS NOT A HEAVY YELLOWCARD ALBUM.  This is a mellow, stripped down, peaceful Yellowcard album.  Ryan Key's lyrics are wonderful as ever and the sound of Yellowcard has changed with the departure of former drummer Longineu Parsons.  However with songs like Crash The Gates, One Bedroom, and Make Me So, this is still a Yellowcard album worth owning.

I recommend this album.


Weezer- Everything Will Be Alright In The End Review.

Weezer is back ladies and gentleman.  What a wonderful record this is.  Rivers Cuomo and Co.  brought back the classic Weezer sound and album with their best effort since Pinkerton.  There are so many good songs on this album.  From the starting track "Ain't Got Nobody" to the woe is me "Go Away"  Weezer knock it out of the park with this album with a classic Weezer groove and brilliant lyrics from frontman Rivers Cuomo.  If you love Weezer, you need this album.

I recommend this album.

After One Week.

After one week of my new lifestyle changes,  I feel like a completely different person.  I feel more active, more positive, and more confident in myself.  Working out really is great for the body and mind and helps you feel invigorated upon completion of your workout.  I'm sticking with these changes and think going forward,  I'll be better than I've ever been.

Random Thoughts 10/2/14

• I enjoy Craig Ferguson's new game show Celebrity Name Game.  It's so simplistic and yet it's so amusing to watch people fail at naming celebrities and giving some really terrible clues. And I mean these clues are AWFUL.
• I also enjoy the game show Idiotest on GSN.  It's visual and word brain teasers and it's fun to watch because I'm pretty good at it but once in awhile, I trip up on the correct answer and I'm like "well played Idiotest".  I should probably mention the host, Ben Gleib is a great game show host and he responded to me on Twitter.  It was pretty cool.
• I hate my medical paranoia,  if something is wrong with me.  It's the end of the world.  I have to get it checked out immediately or I start to lose sanity.  Like I've said before  Web MD exists to cause hysteria in people who overreact.
• I hate how much I love fantasy football.
• I'm not feeling too confident in my Super Bowl prediction of Patriots vs 49ers after how they've started this season but it's how you finish, not how you start.
• I'm confident in Notre Dame to defeat Stanford this week but it's our first real test.  Golson needs to limit his turnovers if he's going to win.
• New Girl continues to be one of the best comedies on television.
• I felt invigorated after my first work out yesterday,  it felt really good.
• That's all I got for now but feel free to follow me on Twitter @walshurmouthout.  You can see my @midnight hashtag war submissions which are "so hilarious".